Woo hoo, I have tears in my eyes as I sit here writing this. My belly hurts from laughing so hard. Oh man, oh man, oh man. (deep breaths Walter, deep breaths). Okay. While mom was downstairs wrapping some of the presents that were delivered today, I thought I'd be the good little elf that I am and make her a nice cup of hot cocoa, it is a rather chilly night here. I know that she is usually a hot tea drinker, but I just didn't want to put forth all the effort to brew some tea. Boiling the water, measuring and steeping the tea, adding the milk and sugar. Screw that. I worked all day dammit. It is much easier opening up a packet of Swiss Miss Besides hot chocolate worked much better with my master plan. Now not many people know this but us elves are master mimics. We can mimic any voice or sound perfectly. (You know when all of your kids toys go off when nobody is around. You think that it is the batteries going bad or something like that. Nope. It's us having some fun. We like to fuck with you like that. Now you did NOT hear that from me. Shhh). Anyways back to one of the funniest things ever. I swear I am going down in history for this one it was epic. So in her husband's voice I called down the stairs "Honey, I made you a cup of hot chocolate, come get it while it is still hot. I'm going to bed. night, love ya honey bunny." Yes he calls her honey bunny how lame is that? She finishes up the package she was wrapping and come up stairs and takes a sip of the hot chocolate. She even said out loud even though no one could hear her. "This is really good, even better than normal." she then proceeds to down it really fast. Damn can that woman drink, wonder if she can pound liquor back like that too? If so she is my kind of momma. What mommy dearest didn't know is this....are you ready for it? Yes?
Those weren't chocolate sprinkles.
On another note the little sister lost a tooth earlier today so I am going to hang out in her bedroom tonight. Hoping to get a little Tooth Fairy action. I hear she bites. Yee haw! I like them feisty like that, hopefully I'll get to show her my magic wand and she'll leave a dollar for me as well. Smell ya later I'm outta here.
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