Thursday, November 29, 2012

First day back

Well yesterday was my first "official" day of full time on Brat Detail again for the season. Joy, oh joy. Here I am meeting with the boss for my first report. Looking at him makes me sick I tell you, and his breath ugh . Mouthwash my elfish ass, some one has been hitting the Peppermint Schnapps rather hard. If I had a match with me that office would of light up light a dried out Christmas tree. (Note to self pick up a lighter.)

I do have to say that the middle kid they got here is a real spit fire. I kind of like her, if only she was 18 and you know, not human.  She is going to be a wild one I tell ya, a real hell raiser. I think I will continue to keep an eye on this one even later on in life. I think I just may tell the Fat Bastard  that she is especially good. Hopefully he will bring her some annoying thing that drives her mother even more crazy than the kid does. That would be epic. 

So anyways I go into S.C.'s office give him my report, he starts talking on about something, I start to feel my eyes glaze over and tune him out. After all these years his voice has become like the adults in the Peanuts cartoons to me, you know the "Waa wah waa". I smile and nod, give the old man a wave and high tail it out of there. 

Once I am out of the Sweat Shop, err sorry the Toy Shoppe. I am swarmed by a dozen or so elves wanting to play freeze tag, and have a snowball fight.  Do I look like I am fucking 60 years old?  I raised an eyebrow, shook my head and walked past them muttering to myself. Unfucking believable. I needed to get out of that frozen tundra as I was freezing  my nuts off. Before heading back to my winter home for the night I decided to take a little trip south of the border for a night cap. I love me some tequila, not to mention the hookers.

I met this stiff Ghoulia in a bar down there. Stiff as in a total bookworm nerd type and as in dead. She was down there on Winter Break with these two guys (really slow moving, dim witted jock wannabes if you ask me) and some Princess type uptight bitch that was all wrapped up in herself. Well after dragging her away from her friends she started to warm up after I got a few shots of Jose into her. Those stiff joints and parts of her really loosened up after about three of them. She was such a lightweight. She started dancing to the music and grinding on me. Little Wally was very excited.  

Next thing I knew her skirt was off and hanging from a deer head that was mounted on the wall over the bar.  She had hopped up onto the bar and got in the supine position. She started making these grunting sounds pointing to the bottle of Cuervo and then her navel. Fuck ya body shots! I am always down for that shit. After sucking up a few shots and letting a few others have a turn. About an hour later I took Blue as I had started calling her to the men's room for a some pixie stick action. Best part of being a zombie, no gag reflex.  I hope I run into her again sometime. Who knew necrophilia could be so hot?

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